Dad the Film Director

Whenever my children are having a moment, my husband takes a picture or video. While that may seem ordinary for most proud parents, my husband’s point of view is to take photographs only when the children are misbehaving. Last Father’s Day my son Josh was having a meltdown because he didn’t want to go to grandfathers for dinner. Well Josh was ranting and raving my husband grabbed his cell phone and took a picture. As you can imagine this resulted in our son having escalated behavior. With giant crocodile tears streaming out of his eyes Josh asked my husband “why are you taking pictures of me?” In which my husband replied “so we can help you remember what a bad kid you are.”

Dad the Dog Lover

Last year my daughter Emily was begging us for a puppy. Much to our surprise my husband came home with two pit bulls that were puppies. I asked my husband why he brought home two dogs instead of one. He replied “They were buy one get one free!”

Dad the Geographer

While my husband was watching our children, he asked them several times to get ready for bed in which the kids weren’t listening. My husband Jerry informs them if they didn’t get ready for bed then God would send them to hell and then transfer them to Los Angeles. Although my children have never been to LA, they immediately listened.

Dad the Philosopher

After returning home from church on Sunday our son asked my husband, “when God punished Eve what did he make her become?” Hubby’s answer was “a housewife”

Dad the Interviewer

Our dad always likes to ask the funniest questions. Last week he asked my eight-year-old brother how he would make a marriage work? My brother’s answer was “tell your wife she’s beautiful even if she looks like a dump truck”.

Dad the Comic

Whenever we are last in our father’s care, he loves to do his version of a standup routine. Here’s a few of the jokes he likes to tell: “That woman so scary I’ve seen better hair on a brush.” Or “that woman so scary, I’ve seen better legs on a pool table”.

Dad the Non-Chef

Our dad loves to spend time in the kitchen. Space there’s only one problem, he’s not very good at it. We gave him a cookbook once and he looked puzzled. Our mom asked him what the problem was in which my dad replied “I can’t do anything with this cookbook.” My mother looking perplexed asked why. Dad pronounced “because every recipe begins the same way. It says take a clean dish and…”